Introduction:      Our text gives some instructions to Christian women on how they are to conduct themselves in marriage. While feminists and modernists would scoff at much of what is said, when this passage is carefully studied, we find in it some very practical and very helpful truths. Far from restricting and demeaning the wife, as some have contended, in this text we find the Word of God revealing the dignity, strength, and power of a godly wife. As we study these words there are three primary truths that reveal how a wife can do her part to build a successful and scriptural marriage. Notice first of all…

I.          THE COMPLIANCE OF A GODLY WIFE

Whether a person likes what the Bible says or not, there is no avoiding the fact that the Scriptures clearly call for Christian wives to comply with a certain order in the home, and to submit themselves to the servant-leadership of their husbands.

            A.        It Is Not A Sexist Command

The words “subjection” in I Peter, and “submit” in Ephesians, is a compound of two Greek words, and they simply means “under order”, or “under arrangement”. Ladies, when the Bible calls on you to submit yourself to your husbands, God is not being a sexist. He knows you may be twice the person your husband is. This command is not a matter of personal ability. It is a matter of Biblical authority.

            B.         It Is Not A Subjective Command

There are those who think this is just a first-century, knuckle-dragging, chauvinist writing that has been annulled by women’s liberation and the modern society. I remind you of the words of the Lord Jesus. In Matthew 5:18, “For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law.” Isaiah 40:8, says, “The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.” The principle of compliance with the leadership and headship of the husband is not a subjective command that applied only in the ancient world. (Illus: “Anything without a head is dead. Anything with two heads is a freak.” Adrian Rogers). God has established an order in the home. Within that order, the husband is to lead his wife with a loving leadership, and the wife is to submit to her husband as the head of the home.

II.         THE CHARACTER OF A GODLY WIFE

Peter’s instructions to Christian wives involve the attitude of their heart. A godly wife is not just concerned with her biblical compliance. She is also concerned with her personal character. While the husband is to lead, that does not mean that the wife has no spiritual initiative of her own. A godly wife has:

            A.        The Sense To Pursue What Is Valuable

In verse 2, Christian wives are warned about falling into the trap of thinking that how they look is more important than who they are. Notice the Bible says, “Don’t let your ‘adorning’ be the outward things such as hair-do’s, jewelry, and clothes.” That word “adorning” = kosmos, and is translated as “world.” He is saying, “wives don’t let your whole world be the external things.” This present world stresses the external. However, the Word of God teaches, that what really matters is not the designer of your dress, or the size of it. Your worth and value are not determined by the smoothness of your skin, or the glitter of your jewelry. Certainly, a godly woman should care about how she looks. But, a godly woman has the sense to know that what is truly valuable about a person is not the color of their hair, but the condition of their heart! Verse 4, “let your world be the hidden person of the heart.” What is most valuable to you and to your marriage is not that you look like a super model but that you live like Jesus! The character of a godly wife is such that she has the sense to pursue what is truly valuable!

            B.         The Strength To Practice What Is Virtuous

Contrary to what you might think, a godly, submissive wife is not a weak woman. In fact, a woman of spiritual character is a remarkably strong woman. Instead of all the external decorations of superficial beauty, a godly woman should display “the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit…” Meekness is an inward calm. It is power under control. It is a purposeful gentleness and mildness of nature toward others. The word “quiet” doesn’t mean someone who whispers, or says nothing. It is a word that describes the ability to control one’s emotions, and to be peaceful and tranquil, in spite of what is going on around you. The Word is not describing a weak, shy, timid, scared woman. In fact, it takes a woman of deep strength to be able to control herself and her emotions, and deal peacefully and gently with people. A godly wife is strong enough to practice the virtue of restraint and control, and knows that the last word isn’t always the most important one.

III.       THE CAPABILITIES OF A GODLY WIFE

The lost husband is referred to here. Peter says that this spiritually defiant husband can be won to faith in Jesus by the holy life of a godly wife. We should not underestimate the potential power and influence that can be exerted by a godly wife. A godly wife has the capability:

            A.        To Silently Witness To Her Husband

Look again at verse one. Wives should live in submission to their husbands, so that if a their husband does not obey the Word of God, “…they may also without the word be won by the conversation of their wives.” Whenever a Christian woman is married to a man who does not live for the Lord, the temptation is to preach at him, and to try to persuade him through persistent nagging or harping on him, reminding him that he needs to do right. Godly wives have not been called to preach, just practice godliness. If you will just submit to God, and then to your husband, and walk with the Lord in a quiet, humble, reverent, and pure life, that is all the preaching your husband will need. A godly wife wins her husband, not through his ears, but through his eyes. She has the capabilities of silently witnessing to her lost husband.

            B.         To Supernaturally Work On Her Husband

In verses 1 and 2 says that a godly wife can win her husband over to the Lord if she does so carefully and wisely. I believe that most Christian wives want a godly husband to lead them. However, in many marriages, the husband seems to lag behind spiritually. What is needed is for God to do a supernatural work in the heart of husbands that makes them as passionate for the Lord as their wives are. What makes this text so important to godly wives is that it says that if you will obey the Word of God in your own life, you have the capability of helping to bring about the supernatural change that needs to take place in the life of your husband. While the godly home must be led by a godly husband, the secret behind that godly husband will always be a godly wife who silently, but supernaturally works to influence her husband for Christ.

Conclusion:       (Psa. 84:11) "…no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." (Illus: My husband is that no good thing!) Wives, at times it may seem like you are married to one of those “no good things.” But, regardless of the kind of husband you have, the Bible is clear about the kind of wife you should be.

·         You are called to comply with the God-given order of the headship of your husband.

·         You are to be a woman of depth and character, who does not live her life for the superficial things of this world, but understands the value of godly character.

·         Most of all, the Word of God reminds you that as a godly wife, you have the power to persuade your husband’s heart and soul for Christ without a fight and a struggle. My prayer for you is that God will help you all to be wives who win without a war.